Interjection.

What has a yellow streak and cold, blue feet?

Apparently, it’s the average Liberal Democrat voter.. I’m tired and therefore irritable; I know it’s not your fault really…

Last night’s election extravaganza then, compelling viewing yeah? It really did look as if it was anyone’s race for quite some time, until reality bit and it all became depressingly clear. At the time of writing, Cameron is heading for the most seats by quite some margin yet without an overall majority. Clegg is heading for less seats than even Charlie ‘drunkychops’ Kennedy could muster for the Lib Dems last time around (that’ll be the aesthetic vote for you, easily turned off that fickle bunch) whilst Labour, at the moment, just look happy to still be there.
Therefore, a hung parliament seems inevitable, I mean, look at the state of it. It is well fucking hung. This outcome is supposedly the worst-case scenario… Really? Worse than a Conservative majority? Worse than an outright victory for Cameron? Times must be bad when the ‘worst-case scenario’ is the best we can hope for.
Amidst all the hype surrounding T.V debates, Leaders wives’ feet, and whether or not we should dare to change, throughout the live and unrelenting 24 hour rolling news coverage the same issue cropped up as the ‘number one priority’ numerous times. The one concern quickly spun under the rug. The Economy. According to some opinion polls somewhere, The Economy is presumably the countries’ primary worry. The huge deficit we have to claw back from somewhere did not seem to be given much precedence to me, as far as Clegg, Cameron and co. were concerned. It was all Brown had.
Essentially, our economy is fucked. What’s worse is that in the event of a hung parliament, our stock falls further still in the eyes of the global economical community and our current economical crisis gets crisiserer. This means that whoever takes the top job over the next few days will have to implement massive cuts in spending. Public services will struggle, jobs will be lost, taxes will more than likely increase and benefits across the land may well be cut. Don’t worry though, the big shiny shopping centre in your town centre will probably survive, as will, I am sure, a few pubs and clubs however, has anyone noticed that the further you venture out from your respective town’s economical epicentre, the drearier everything’s beginning to look? The whole shebang appears to have taken on a siege mentality, the wagons are circling and everything outside the circle will wither and die because their supply line has been severed. Those supplies, by the way, are you, the customer with money, the consumer. So do they stand and fight? No, they either give up or, if they can afford the exorbitant rent, move inside the circle.
I’m not entirely sure if it’s the same here as most places however, much ado has been made frequently regarding our high streets all over the country becoming alarmingly uniform. Coffee shop. Bookshop. Clothes shop. Pub, HMV, Tesco. Repeat. Therefore, I’d presume that the great Consumer Ambush doesn’t just happen here. However you travel, by bus, train or car, all paths lead to the shopping centre. Buses and trains arrive directly beneath the behemoth; cars are herded into the car park above. You can then either take the escalator directly to the food court or opt for a lift to deposit you bang in the middle of your shopping centre’s flagship store.
The moment you step out on to the shiny floor, the lighting, the cleanliness, the mood music and the smells assault your senses. Even the colour schemes in these places are designed to captivate you before they hypnotise you into spending your readies on things you do not need. A few months ago, your hypnotic and frenzied spending was called ‘boosting the economy’ for a bit until V.A.T went back up, it then reverted to being merely ‘staving off the misery’ once more.
Is there a reason why we all seem to be so susceptible to such subtle techniques? Or are we just suckers? Are we in fact conditioned to succumb to even the slightest indication that we should buy this, watch that, eat here? Who’s done this to us, and how? What’s the reason?
Some say it’s merely psychology. Certain colours and sounds trigger certain responses in our brains. Red and yellow for example make you feel hungry, allegedly. I can buy into this, but it makes me wonder how far back down the line the chemistry in our mind started to associate these colours with hunger. ..
In any case, I appear to have lost the plot and the red and yellow thingy brings us, more or less, full circle. Is a coalition of Labour and the Liberal Democrats likely? No. Clegg has indicated that he would be inclined to form alliances with the party who receives the most votes. So a Clegg and Cameron scheme team it is and the cuts they are going to have to make in order to pull the economy from the doldrums mean that it is highly unlikely, after this term, that either will ever be re-elected again.

Every cloud…